Skip to main content

The social media expert

"I am a social media expert" hea announced to no one in particular.

I tried hard to avoid him but as we were the only two people in the room it was hard to do so still I pretended to avoid him.

"I am going to start looking for clients now..." he said, "and teach them social Media."
It was hard to avoid him as he bobbled in front of me with too much agility, 'Social Media?' I looked at him, 'you know social Media?'
'Correction dude,' I am an expert on social Media. I today created two fan pages for my friends,' he beamed.

'Social Media is in dude, where are you?'
Clearly I was in an ancient Chinese torture chamber at the moment but he didn't know it... Yet.

'So what do you do in social Media?' I asked making a brave face.

'Its as simple as making bread butter toast...' he explained, I resisted reminding him that last time he burnt the toast and ate it pretending it to be brown bread, 'Open a twitter account and a Facebook page then keep following people and follow them back...Do you know there are 500 million active users...' he smiled wide.

'The 500 user count is as reassuring as well as discouraging dude... There are 140 crore billion people on the planet, no one actually bothered to listen to you except me...just because you see them does not mean they actually care about you. In fact a half of them actually are worried about you invading their privacy.' I corrected, 'Can you assure 500 million people that you are a good guy and make them trust you?' I asked simply.

'Err dude, even God has not managed to do that' he answered, 'What you say seems Impossible.'
'So making money from internet was impossible but Google became worlds largest company by selling keywords over the internet.'

'You mean...'
'Disturbing my peace can be hazardous to your mental health...' I replied coldly.

Can you think of how to turn likes into cash flow? Well I am no social media expert but considering the fact that minimum age for joining Facebook is 13, creating a Facebook page clearly is not a qualification to be one.

So what it? Do tell me before returns.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Video: Top ten tips on how not to ruin Salesforce implementation

Another presentation for the London Salesforce Developer Group using mobile app. 
When it comes to Salesforce development, we all know what it takes to deliver stuff. Having a certified professional helps you gain a knowledgeable partner but what about the things such as common sense?  We all know how to deliver things on client requirements but what about things that are not mentioned by the client. We will be discussing in details things that will enhance the user experience, focus on tips to read your customers mind and have a bit of perspective on the user experience.

Cache me if you can: What you should know before daring to set URL parameter on visualforce

If someone gave me a pence for every time there was an SOQL query in an APEX Class without using Limit or a condition during a code review, I could afford a Lamborgini this month. Sigh. If only. We make it a habit of going digging for data, at the very moment we need it. The crux of this problem happens when you have chain classes which are independent of each other. Each class needs the reference from a single record and we have to query for that record every single time.

While we don't see it, every SOQL query has a cost to it, and it does not go in my Lamborghini fund, however, it should. In a recent project, we had to construct an Account 360 page that could fetch information from different integration points. The page was also called using a live telephony integration, which could pass the phone number for the account. This required an ability to keep in context the Account that was on call.

Passing the Account id in URL parameter was a valid option, however, any manipulatio…

Four secrets to improve the usability of your visualforce/Lightning pages on Salesforce

In the immortal words of a certain machine returning back in time, I am back. For now. After procrastinating for over a year and drafting a lot of rants- I am back with a very important coding lesson for you. For now.

When we are designing a Visualforce page or an app or a lightning component (added that only to trick google) or any web page for that matter, we often tend to wrap up things quickly. Ask anyone on the team, how to design a good User Experience? and the person will immediately throw buzz words like Bootstrap, angular and other useless libraries (did someone squint?)

Ok, Bootstrap, Angular-Js, and all the libraries are really cool and are useful in designing a fabulous UI. They are helpful in creating responsive pages that will work on all the devices but this post is not about those. Nope. For the purpose of this post, all the external libraries and buzzwords you use to decorate your resume are useless. (Adding Angular JS in your resume for a Salesforce consultant posit…